cales: i was thinking about hooking up the super nintendo and playing mario
jess: i like maria kart
jess: haha we are so cool talking about old nintendo games.
cales: lol yup
jess: did you every play that one where he's lost?
jess: mario's missing or something
jess: that one is weird
jess: a bunch of running up and down streets and getting lost and 'educational' facts
jess: no killing bad guys, nothing.
cales: lol never heard of that one
cales: my parents used to be addicted to dr. mario
jess: aaah i did too
daniel: i have a nintendo emulator.
daniel: i play massive amounts of mario 3.
jess: i suck at mario.
jess: the only maria game i'm good at is mario kart
cales: i never won a mario game
cales: i love mario kart
jess: i can beat everyone in mario kart on any level
jess: is mario 3 where he's the racoon?
cales: i used to play the battle mode with my dad...since i got no sibs
jess: or is it the..yoshi?
jess: i get them mixed up
jess: my stepdad plays very unfair in battle mode
daniel: yoshi is on SNES.
jess: racoon is my favorite.
jess: yoshi is weird. he has issues.
cales: i like yoshi!
jess: but he makes that gagging sound when he eats.
jess: he's bulimic.
jess: and really what type of animal IS he.
jess: is he a horse?
jess: or a dragon?
cales: he's a lizard dragon thing
jess: nobody knows.
jess: then why does he wear tennis shoes?
jess: dragons don't need shoes.
cales: so his feet don't hurt?
jess: dragons can fly.
jess: they need not walk.
jess: i think yoshi comes from the devil.
cales: but he doesn't have wings
jess: sometimes he does
cales: you mean like a spawn of satan?
jess: if he eats certain things.
cales: if that's the case then why does he help mario
jess: who just happens to be good for oneups from his egg if you already have him.
jess: he's paid well.
jess: i heard 8 figure salary.
jess: pretty good for demon hell spawns these days.
jess: i'm serious!
jess: yoshi is evil!
jess: i always wonder why luigi is second string too.
cales: he's the sidekick
jess: why is it always MARIO.
jess: mario this and mario that.
cales: um cuz he likes princess toadstool
jess: what about luigi he makes all the italian food they so obviously consume frequently.
jess: princess toadstool is secretly in love with yoshi.
jess: AND luigi.
jess: she's a whore.
cales: no she can't be in love with the spawn of satan
jess: she's a spawn too. in theN64 version she is called 'peach'
jess: what the hell is that? name change.
jess: because she was found out.
cales: because toadstool sounds like frog poop
jess: and peach is better?
jess: hi my name is peach.
cales: well yeah
jess: i'm a whore spawn from hell.
jess: rescue me!
cales: then if that's the case yoshi should save her
cales: then mario and luigi can go eat
jess: yoshi has no arms.
jess: he has a tongue but shyeah.
jess: we all know what THAT'S good for.
jess: so basically the entire mario world is one big conspiracy.
jess: the lead guy is a glory hog.
cales: the chick is a whore
jess: the 'sidekick' is overshadowed when he's the real hero.
cales: and the pet is a spawn of satan
jess: the princess is a whore spawn from hell who has liasions with the devil spawn yoshi
AND the hero's brother.
jess: and the real good guy?
jess: he knows all of it, he's out to stop them.
jess: and yet he is made out to be the worst guy of all.
cales: why is he so fugly
jess: it's a disguise.
jess: he lures mario to his main castle that way.
jess: mario's a good guy. he is.
jess: just a glory hog.
cales: it's just that he gets all the attention
jess: who has no idea his girl is makin it with his 'dog' and his brother.
cales: oh man it's just your run of the mill soap opera
jess: sure is.
jess: a big fraud.
cales: and they lure young kids to play that
cales: man what a clever marketing scam
jess: they make me sick.
jess: Super Mario World is so flithy.
cales: ok so what about mario kart
cales: that's just road rage?
jess: oh they're all nice in that game.
jess: except when you play against the computer.
cales: no way they have all these weapons
jess: then they get to cheat.
cales: it's road rage
jess: bowser gets his big ass on your cart and bumps you off the road.
jess: donkey kong throws banana peels.
cales: and that koopa thing shoots shells
jess: worst is when bowser throws fire balls.
jess: ranbow road on the N64 version is great though.
jess: i kick ass at that track.
cross eyed jesus has left the room.
jess: we have SNES and there's this game with all the mario games on one cartridge thing.
cales: oh that's cool
jess: well pft. danyo.
cales: lol i guess the convo wasn't stimulating enough
jess: i thought it was
cales: i thought so too
jess: lemme read it again
cales: maybe we should tortue zakh
jess: man that convo was great!
jess: i gotta post that!
cales: lol i know i was laughing literally
jess: that stuff just came to me
jess: are you talkin to danyo?
jess: tell him bite me for leaving haha. jk.
jess: i really thought that was interesting conversation.
cales: it was!
jess: something he would normally join in on if he werne't so bored and or tired
cales: and besides i've reached my limit for daniel harassment for today
jess: me too.
jess: but it's nice to know he doesnt hate the club
jess: he said it scared him though lmao
jess: i scared daniel *evil laugh*
jess: man i am so gonna post this tomorrow
jess: that was great
cales: lol i just might do that too
jess: like, well we tried talking to daniel...
jess: and ended up having a better convo WITHOUT him!
jess: in your face Mistar Popular!
jess: bite me!
jess: bite cales!
jess: bite US!
jess: *cocks head*
jess: i am bored i think i'm goin to bed in a few minutes
jess: i'm not tired though grr
cales: well then let's continue our fabulous conversation
jess: all right.
jess: let's examine mario kart.
jess: first of all you have the handle on certain characters.
jess: toad takes good curves.
jess: princess is eh on all areas.i play her every time.
jess: bowser is slow.
jess: donkey kong is slow.
cales: i use yoshi!
jess: yoshi is like toad.
cales: yoshi is good in all areas
jess: mario is skiddish.
jess: and luigi is skiddish
cales: speed turns recovery from attacks
jess: and the turtle dude well he's like toad too
jess: i prefer the princess
jess: she had good speed, handling on turns, recovery from attacks, etc.
jess: plus she is skinny and fits anywhere
jess: then the tracks
jess: the ghost track is the best
jess: no question
jess: i kick ass at that one every single time, nobody can touch me on that haha
jess: that and bowser's castle. always great to beat him in his own castle.
jess: but it really is a bunch of road rage
cales: i don't like the haunted house
jess: i mean you've got the glory hog mario finally getting his due so he's pissed off.
jess: luigi is getting cocky about that.
jess: princess is driving for her life since mario found out about her trysts.
jess: bowser is just mad as hell and he's not taking it so he's all damn it i'm bad now!
jess: donkey kong is happy he got his own game but he feels so left out he decides to
poop banana peels all up in your face
cales: so what's the shell guy got to do with it
jess: he's the outcast.
jess: always in last place.
I screw LANCE247 has entered the room.
jess: so he goes to take revenge by putting the green shells which you NEVER want in the
little box things.
maria: hi hi everyone
cales: the red shells are good
jess: and then you have to launch them and risk getting hit by your own shell.
jess: heat seekers are the games only godsend.
jess: hi maria :-)
maria: hi jess! lol
maria: green and red shells?
maria: <--- lost
jess: and don't forget yoshi!
maria: oh mario?
jess: he's finally got hands to steer and he's all up in it
cales: mario kart
jess: so he throws out his little hell spawns on the track in front of you
jess: or lets em out backwards.
cales: the ghost attack pisses me off
jess: and then there's toadstool who you THINK is the nice one.
cales: turning invisible and all
cales: no she's peach
jess: but watch him when you pass him sometimes, his face gets VERY upset.
jess: no toadstool, the toad dude.
jess: i think i covered everyone.
cales: yep i think you have
cales: you know who doesn't get justice
cales: diddy kong
jess: oh. yes.
cales: in donky kong country he's gotta be the small monkey
jess: don't forget wario.
cales: what's up with that
jess: he was the REAL good guy coming in out of nowhere as mario's evil twin and
exposing them for what they are.
jess: i am weird, discussing this game like this.
jess: but it's fun.
cales: but why does his outfit have to be yellow *shudders*
cales: not a good fashion statement for the evil twin
cales: he should get red and mario should wear yellow
jess: look at this way.
jess: if he were red he's really be mistaken for mario all the time
jess: if not for the jagged teeth and weird purple features here and there
cales: but see if they had done it from the start there wouldn't be confusion
jess: exactly, where was wario all this time?
jess: i'm guessing he was holed up with the princess's sister.
jess: it makes total sense.
jess: with his evil dog Joshi.
jess: and back on the topic og yoshi.
jess: i wonder why he is spotted on his ass.
jess: like that little saddle thing he wears.
jess: it outdoes even the shoes as being stupid.
VertXEgo has entered the room.
cales: dots on his ass?
cales: i didn't notice that
jess: that little..well you have to see it.
jess: and that noise he makes when mario cough mounts him.
jess: i have one word. orgasm.
cales: that like E-errr sound
jess: totally evil.
jess: like i said, hell spawn.
cales: this whole game is corrupted
jess: the entire world of mario.
jess: it's sick!
jess: the princess sickens me the most.
cales: because she's a hoe?
jess: i bet when bowser had her held captive she was banging him too!
jess: the slut
cales: she be laying everyone
cales: what a hoe
jess: even the little mean dudes in all the worlds.
jess: she gets there before maria and BOOM gives it up extremely fast and is gone.
jess: that's her skill.
cales: maria is not a hoe